Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I was so misunderstood, and really dumb

The first monster that I had help in creating, would be my brother, the second oldest. The only reason I say help in creating is because he is my parent’s creation, but we influenced each other quit well. From day one, we are still best of friends, but people would not have guessed that when we were younger. I would beat on him and he would tell on me. before high school, I would use him as my personal punching bag. He would get back at me in other ways ( dad could always even up the score ). Once in high school, it was different, no one was going to beat on my brother but me. So I took it upon myself to beat on those that thought they could beat on him, one became his best friend, a couple of times of being dropped in the hallway, got the message across quit well. This person thought that the first time might have been that he was picking on my brother, the second time reassured him that it was. Once this person took the time to get to know my family, he was let’s say, not so mean to my brother and than became life long friends.

The monsters that I’ve created, say when I was younger, early teens, I can only say that I was an influence. As in much of my life, the more contact I had, the more of an influence I was. In my late teens that I seem to have more contact with people that needed some form of guidance. The years when partying was more important than almost anything else. And the people that where around me, seem to be willing to do anything. I was not the best role model a parent could ask for, for that fact I would not let my kids today hang around me back than. I had a way of getting things done that, well one might say, was unethical. Any means to an end, I mean that even if no one else could find a way to fix or solve a problem, I could. And some of the people that were around me, at the time, learned that. I can say now that some of the things that I could come up with were not in my best interest. One example that I could use would be; in one of my partying apartments, I came home in a bad mood, I really needed to catch a buzz. One of the hang arounds that were there, had a bag of weed, and waved it in my face. Not a good thing to do at the time, I retrieved my hatchet and carved the seat from underneath him. Right between his legs, about the third or forth time that I swung the ax, he had a bowl filled and was offering it to me. Not the right thing to do, but it accomplished my goal. The problem that effect after that, was when one of the kids that I was letting hang around decided that he was having a bad day, and in the middle of the main street, he pulls a knife on a drug dealer who has some weed. Now my actions, without a dought, were stupid to say the least, but I was in my apartment, behind lock doors, the only thing that I touched was my bar stool. I made no threats and there was no one, of whom that I was worried about talking or seeing the wrong thing. This kid was in the middle of down town, in rush hour traffic, the whole world could see, and did. He, how every, got away with it and the fruits of his lobar paid off. This kid who we will call “the Kid” spent many years following me around, he learned a few things to survive, but never got the whole picture, you see not all of the things that I did were bad, just not done in an expectable way. I was someone that was known for helping people out, if they were hungry, I feed them, if they needed someplace to stay, I always had a place for them to crash, and I always was willing to listen and give advice. Probably one of the only good things, that time had to offer from me was that I was good at seeing the obvious, and to this day, I still call it as I see it, a shit sandwich is still a shit sandwich, it doesn't matter how much bread it has on it. Needless to say “the Kid” spent a lot of time learning from me, it just seemed that all the things that he learned form me were bad. Where I could make someone that was beating on his wife see the wrong in his ways, the only thing “the Kid” saw was how I did it, not why. Meaning, that I would go in to this mans house and beat this man the same as he would beat his wife. With in a few times of this happening, one of two things would transpond, he would stop beating his wife , for fear that I would show up, or he would leave, for fear that I would show up. Needless to say the beatings stop. “The Kid” only saw that with the beatings that I dish out, to the guy that was beating his wife, would get me the results that I wanted. So he tried his hand a being a bully, with nothing but bad results. If you are going to be a bully, be a bully for the under dog, fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. “The Kid” missed that part, he also missed the part on how to get away with such things. The guy that was beating his wife had a warrant for his arrest, so the last time I beat him, I beat him good enough for him to call the police. ( A lesson that I learned a long time ago was, you can not run from the cops. One, they will always recognize you, two, you can’t out run a Motorola (radio.)) So I waited for them to arrive, they did, and they asked me to leave the seen before I interfered with an on going investigation. The police took him to the hospital, than to jail. Now understand that I don’t calm to be responsible for all “the Kid’s” monstrous acts and I guess that some of my influence was put to good use. meaning that he might have learned something good from me. Years down the road “The Kid” contacted me and told me that he had been through some rough times and if it wasn’t for me he doesn’t think he would have made it through them. Yet he was still at that time, trying to do the right thing and still having a hard time staying out of trouble. I can’t be responsible for the bad choices that people make.

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